Your Daughter First
Through the subtle workings of friendship, you called me to You in Lourdes. You called me there at a very certain time in my life that I never could have anticipated. I arrived in Lourdes with the blessed identity of wife, mother, daughter, aunt and friend. But it was there in Lourdes, where You reminded me that I was Your daughter first! You gave to me this special time with only You. The mystery of Your Perpetual Maternity prompted my deep petition. You permitted me to rest in Your Maternity, as my own had come to an end, just two days before departing on this pilgrimage. Your Perpetual Maternity was a font of grace for me in Lourdes. As true as it is that the deepest of sorrow can not find the words to express itself, so too, did I realize that within Your Perpetual maternity, all motherhood is completed. My soul experienced the effects of Your tender love, completing my maternity. The joy that embraced me renewed my awareness of what it means to be Your daughter first! Nothing was broken, because You would not leave me on this cross of loss. I experienced that You did not wish for me to see myself alone, and so, we were mother and daughter. More important to You was my daughterhood, not my motherhood. This daughterhood increased in me a tremendous source of joy. Even if I should be visited by my loss again, I feel certain that You will be there to remind me that I am Your daughter first!

As You permitted me to return to all that I love, I was never to forget that daughters matter to You. I could not imagine that You would seal this truth in me by granting me a precious little daughter of my own, Marianna Bernadette, nine months after my return; conceiving nine days after my miscarriage, born shortly after midnight of February 11, 2004, the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. I have cherished my six sons all of these years. Each one of them is a unique treasure to me. Their love of life and free-spiritedness have shown me glimpses of an awesome God. Truly, Marianna is the daughter that will always remind me that I was Your daughter, first!
As He looks into your eyes, may He know me...in the end. SharonMarie